Why Are You Telling Me This? F.I.C.A. - A Simple Framework to Improve Conversation
One of the things I’m constantly managing as a nonprofit leader is the steady stream of conversations that come across my desk — some scheduled, many spontaneous, and nearly all well-intentioned.
People come to me with updates, concerns, reflections, or dilemmas — and I’m always listening. But here’s the honest part: I don’t always know why they’re telling me what they’re telling me. Do they want me to do something? Do they just want me to know? Are they looking for advice? Or are they still trying to figure out what they even need?
I’ve found myself in conversations where someone clearly expected action, but I thought they were just sharing information. Other times, someone needed clarity after a prior conversation but didn’t feel comfortable admitting they were still confused — so they left uncertain, which slowed everything down. I’ve also been on the other end — needing clarity or support from a leader, but not knowing how to ask for it without sounding unsure or unprepared.
And it’s not just a workplace thing. Honestly, this shows up in my personal life, too. My wife might come to me just wanting to be heard and validated — and instead, I jump straight into problem-solving mode, thinking I’m helping, when really I’m not. We’ve all probably experienced some version of that moment.
So I started wondering: What if we had a simple, shared language to name the intent behind these conversations?Something that helps both the speaker and the listener understand what’s expected — and what isn’t.
That’s what led me to create a framework I’m calling F.I.C.A. Simple, memorable, and (I hope) useful.
The F.I.C.A. Framework
A tool to better understand the why behind a conversation and what to do next.
This framework helps clarify what someone is hoping for when they bring something to you — and what kind of response they’re expecting. Here's how I'm defining it:
F = Feedback
They’re looking for your thoughts, coaching, or perspective — not your action.
They’re processing out loud and want to learn, grow, or reflect with your help. They don’t need you to step in, just to help them think it through.
“I’m not sure how I handled that. Can I bounce it off you?”
“Here’s what I was thinking — does that approach make sense to you?”
Potential response:
“Happy to help. What part are you trying to sort out?”
I = Information
They’re just keeping you in the loop. No action or advice needed.
These are the quick updates, the “just so you’re aware” moments. Nothing is being asked of you beyond listening.
“I already talked with the family, but I wanted you to know what was said.”
“You might hear something about this — just giving you a heads-up.”
Potential response:
“Thanks for letting me know. Is there anything you need from me?”
C = Clarity
They’re confused or uncertain and need more information to move forward.
This often comes after a prior conversation where they nodded along — but left with lingering questions. Now they’re circling back for clarity, not to challenge, but to truly understand.
“I’ve been thinking about what we discussed — I’m not sure I fully got it.”
“Can we go back over that part? I still have a few questions.”
Potential response:
“Of course. What’s still unclear for you?”
A = Action
They want you to do something — make a decision, approve something, intervene, or respond.
This is often the most straightforward (in theory), but people don’t always clearly ask for action. Sometimes it’s buried in the story or implied.
“Can you talk to the team about this?”
“I need your signature before I can move forward.”
Potential response:
“Got it. What exactly do you need from me, and by when?”
Putting It Into Practice
I’m just beginning to introduce this F.I.C.A. framework to my team. It’s a work in progress, and like any new language or habit, it will take time to stick.
But my hope is that team members will start to lead conversations by saying something like:
“This is Feedback — I’d love your thoughts.”
“This is Information — just wanted to keep you in the loop.”
“This is Clarity — I still have a few questions.”
“This is Action — I need you to step in.”
If we can get in the habit of naming the intent of a conversation up front, I think we’ll see fewer misunderstandings, shorter meetings, better decisions — and maybe even a little less stress. That clarity helps all of us show up more fully, respond more appropriately, and make the most of our time together.
What Do You Think?
Like most things in leadership, this is a live experiment. I’ll circle back in a few months and share how it’s going — what’s working, what’s not, and what we’ve learned as a team.
In the meantime, I’d love to hear from you:
Does this framework resonate with you?
Are there other “buckets” you’d include?
How do you manage conversations where expectations are unclear?
Leave a comment or share it with someone in your world who might find it helpful. I’d love to hear your feedback — or your requests for clarity.