The Leadership Discipline of Solitude: Harder Than It Sounds

In the constant whirlwind of leadership—meetings, decisions, emails, and the endless stream of problems to solve—it’s easy to feel like there’s never a moment to pause. Leaders are expected to be available, responsive, and in control. But what if one of the most powerful things we can do as leaders is to step away?

A few months ago, one of my daughters casually asked, “Dad, are you ever not thinking about work?” She wasn’t being critical—just genuinely curious. I started to answer, but I hesitated. Because the truth was, even when I wasn’t working, my mind was still running. Even in moments of supposed rest, I was planning, strategizing, or mentally sorting through problems. I told myself I was good at unplugging, but that simple question made me realize: I wasn’t truly resting, just shifting to a different kind of work.

Solitude and silence seem simple enough. In theory, it’s just setting aside time to be alone and quiet. But in practice, it’s one of the hardest disciplines to maintain. Sitting in stillness—without distractions, without solving problems, without consuming more information—feels unnatural when we’re used to constant movement. And yet, throughout history, the best leaders have known that solitude isn’t a luxury; it’s a necessity.

Solitude Isn’t Just “Not Working”

If I’m honest, I used to think I had solitude covered. After all, I take breaks—I spend time with my family, go fishing, shoot sporting clays, and have meals with friends. And even when I’m alone, I’m doing something—reading, listening to a podcast, catching up on my mental to-do list.

But that’s where I’ve had to challenge myself: solitude and silence aren’t just about taking time off or being alone. They require stepping away from all input—work, entertainment, even good things like learning and planning.

Most of us confuse downtime with solitude. We think that because we’re not in a meeting or answering emails, we’re creating space. But if our minds are still engaged—consuming information, strategizing, or thinking through our next move—we’re not truly resting. True solitude is when we stop all of it. No phone. No music. No books. No agenda. Just stillness.

And that’s uncomfortable.

Why Great Leaders Prioritize Solitude

Jim Collins, in Good to Great, found that the most effective leaders think deeply rather than react impulsively. His research highlights how leaders need dedicated space to step back and gain perspective (Collins, 2001). But even this kind of deep thinking, while critical, still keeps the mind engaged in work.

To take it a step further, authors Raymond Kethledge and Michael Erwin argue in Lead Yourself First that solitude isn’t just about creating space to think—it’s about creating space not to think. Their research shows that true solitude allows the mind to settle, leading to clarity, creativity, and resilience. Ironically, by giving our brains time to disengage, we actually improve our ability to be productive, focused, and effective when we return to our work (Kethledge & Erwin, 2017). In other words, solitude isn’t a break from leadership—it’s an essential part of it.

But solitude isn’t just a leadership principle—it’s a spiritual discipline.

The Biblical Pattern of Solitude

• Jesus’ Example (Mark 1:21-39): Jesus, despite the urgency of His ministry, frequently withdrew to quiet places to pray. He didn’t wait until everything was handled—He stepped away even when there was still work to do.

• Jacob’s Encounters with God (Genesis 28:10-22, 32:22-33:3): Jacob’s defining moments—his vision at Bethel, wrestling with God—happened when he was alone. His transformation came not through constant striving, but through solitude.

• Psalm 37:1-11: “Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him.” Stillness isn’t just about stopping—it’s about trust. It’s creating space for something deeper than just the next task on our list.

A Challenge for Leaders

If solitude doesn’t come naturally to you, you’re not alone. Even when I have downtime, my instinct is to fill it—with work, entertainment, or even productive learning. But I’m learning that real solitude requires something harder: letting go of all of it, even for a short time.

So here’s the challenge: Set aside time for actual solitude this week.  Not just a break. Not just time off. Solitude.

Start with 10-15 minutes. No phone. No music. No books. No agenda. Just silence. It will feel unnatural at first. But if you stick with it, you may find that those moments of stillness become the most important part of your leadership.

Are you willing to try?

If you do, I’d love to hear how it goes. Did it feel uncomfortable? Did you gain any insight? Drop a comment or send me a message—I’d love to learn from your experience.

References

Collins, J. (2001) Good to great: Why some companies make the leap and others don’t. New York: HarperCollins.

Kethledge, R. M. and Erwin, M. S. (2017) Lead yourself first: Inspiring leadership through solitude. New York: Bloomsbury USA.